(with apologies to John Gruber)

Hi BlackBerry honey, I’m home. Hey… why are you crying?

I know where you were this weekend, and who you were with – that harlot Pre!

I… I… Look, I’m sorry. She meant nothing to me – really. I ended it, it’s already over.

:sob: Really, why should I believe you? I bet she reminded you of your ex, Treo.

Not really – she’s very different. A whole different OS and the touch screen is different – there isn’t even a joy pad or a stylus. Really, I was thinking of you the whole time. You know no one has a keyboard like you do.

But… what about her slick curves and sexy touch-screen browser.

I won’t lie, the browser is nice – and Google sync integration is really nice and it’s built-in so the set-up is easier, but it’s not better than yours. Your battery life is better too.

But you like her browser better?

Her browser and your browser are just different. Her’s is like iPhone‘s – the touchscreen makes it a different experience.

So you’re seeing iPhone now too?

No, no – I keep telling you we’re just friends. We enjoy hanging out, but she’s not right for me like you are.

I see you with her all the time – people talk.

I’m telling you, she’s just a good friend. We listen to a lot of podcasts together, play a little Trism, and occasionally do a little browsing – but that’s it.

No SMS?

No, baby.

No phone calls?

No sweetie, I only do that with you.

Does this background image make me look fat?

That background looks great on you. Really compliments your marble.

So it’s really over between you and Pre?

Yes, I promise.

Any plans tomorrow or are you coming home for dinner?

Sorry babe, I’ve got a dinner with Eos tomorrow. It’s just business, so don’t worry – but I may be home late. Don’t wait up.